I was going to back post and do a few post, but honestly . . . the days seem to stream together with now working 2 days a week, Reese getting another molar and trying to still clean and do laundry. How do full-time working moms do it!?!
How did the first week go?
The first day was awful. I won't sugar coat it and pretend like she or I enjoyed any part of it. She cried most of the day, and finally when I was able to take her in the room I was working, she just melted on me . . . and continued to do that heart wrenching hyperventilating hiccup because they have cried so much. I lost it . . . I was so unprofessional, but I couldn't help it. I just kept saying "I'm so sorry" and rubbing her back. The guilt crept up on me and I began to cry, and before I knew it, the phone was for me and Danny was asking how it was going. I just wept. I felt awful. I knew I had to give her back to her teachers and had to finish my work day.
Is it going better?
Yes, Reese has seemed to form a bond with her primary caregiver Maria, who I am friends with. Her drop-offs are hard because she doesn't want me to go but we kiss and I just let Maria take her. It is better the faster it is, and before she knows it . . . she is distracted and better.
What I think seems to set her off is the business and loudiness of the other children. She was already a bit oversensitive before, but now it has set that into overdrive. The stranger anixiety has seem to come on too . . . but that could be just an age thing.
How am I doing?
It is hard to be honest about it because I have so many friends that read this and work so hard, and 5 days a week! But, I will be that person . . . I hate it. I LOVE children, always have . . . but I just wish that I could do something else for a bit. I keep looking at Asst. Director jobs and I just don't have a BA and no desire to go back to school. I just wish I could find that PERFECT part-time gig, but I guess I have to face the fact that I left it to be with Reese for her 1st year.
Molars?
Reese now has all FOUR of her molars. I can't believe it! The top are not completely in and the bottom left has a bit more to push through but she has them. Why she has to be an early teether . . . I don't know!
Pictures?
I have been real bad at taking them lately! I will post a few in the next couple of days.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Update
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5 comments:
oh my goodness, FOUR molars? reese is so precocious, she will be demanding a car and a prom dress next year :)
sorry to hear that the first week is so hard. kids don't like transitions...i'm sure reese will be all settled in by the end of this week. also i think the melty thing is age-related. lila clings onto me like that even when we are at home!
I'm hoping things continue to get better. I'm sure they will.
I think the hardest thing any mother,who works in a preschool, could face is what you are experiencing right now. I know that one of the hardest things I have ever had to do was go to work to take care of other's babies while leaving my baby in the care of someone else. You have every right to feel that you "hate" it. My heart is with you :)
xoxo Krisi
I feel for ya! Since i don't have kids, i do not feel like I can offer you advice. but I love you, and I know, with time, things will smooth out. Just ask your mom how you adjusted,a s a baby, to new things. Those stories are always eye--opening. hugs! hang in there...
Jen,
I clicked on your blog after reading an e-mail from pplaygroup. I concur about work. I had to go back to work when Dane was almost 4 months and I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown or mamybe I did. Thank you for your comment about how full time moms do it. I HATE it I feel like I am spinning my wheels and treading water.I teach Kindergarten but for the first time have second guessed my career choice I am exauhsted by the time they leave. I thought about going back to pre-school and maybe directing? That would be another kind of tired. I miss him so much and want to spend as much quality time with him as I can when I get home that laundry and the other kazillion things to do pile up. Reese is adorable we almost used that name due to it being my maiden name I think for our next :)hope your transition is getting easier by now :)
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